Jellyfish (episode)
Jellyfish is the 2nd episode of (pat)Rick Figures. Transcript (At a bar, Patrick chugs a bottle of beer while on top of a table. His eyes are pink, as he's drunk. SpongeBob then walks up.) SpongeBob: ♪Happy birthday, Patrick! From a friend who's not a dick!♪ Aaand you're drunk. Patrick: (breathes in deeply, then leans forward quickly, breaking a few bottles beside him.) SPONGEBOB!!!! Blue: How's the, uh, birthday? Red: (drunk) You're not even... (mumbles)... with the panda hat. Blue: Oh, yeah? Cool... Red: Ah ah! (drunk, he goes down the table, stands back up, and embraces Blue.) Heh-hey, Blue. Blue: What? Red: Blue! Blue. What? Red: BlueBlueBlueBlueBlueBlueBlue... Blue: What? Red: Listen. Blue: What? Red: Listen. Blue listen. Blue: What?! Red: Listen. Blue: WHAT?! Red: (deep voice)''LISTEN! ''(drunk) I love you! I wanna...let's...(mumbles)...let's grow old together in every way! (deep voice, background blazes.) EVERY WAY! (The background goes back to normal.) Blue: (trying to leave Red) 'Kay... (Disco ball drops down next to Red & Red starts to dance.) Red: Dance party fo Red! (Red crashes into the glass fragments from the bottles earlier. Red gets up with the fragments stuck on him. Disco ball disappears.) Red: Yeah! HEY, LAAADIIIIIIIES! (Runs off.) Blue: Eh, fack! Red: (sprints up to a woman) Hey, baby, knock knock, who's there, sex, sex who, sex with me, BOOM! (black sunglasses suddenly pop out in front of his eyes & he strikes a pose.) Woman: Aw, that's so romantic! Call me-- Red: Whatever! (Walks away.) Blue: Oh, my God, dude, what happened? Red: I know, right! What a piyaaaammp! (Clip quickly rewinds to when Red spoke to the woman.) Red: (drunk) Hey, blehblehboobleblebloohehe! Ahahahahahahahah!! ...Knock knock. (The woman angrily breaks her beer bottle on the countertop. Red ends up having a broken bottle on his head.) Blue: Wow, dude, you're really drunk. (Removes the broken bottle on Red's head. Blood's visible on the tips.) I gotta get you home. Red: (drunk) YEAH, RIGHT! I'm fine! I ain't never puked from throwin' up! Blue: You mean drinking? Red: (breathes in) (low voice): Drinking! Drinking! Drinking! Drinking! Drinking! (Walks off.) Blue: Red! (groans) Woman: (groans) Men are such pigs. Raccoon: I can go all night-a, baby. I'm-a nocturnal. (Growls seductively.) (Time lapse. Red talks to his reflection in a mirror.) Red: (drunk) You don't know meh! (Time lapse. Red talks to himself. The bartender observes him.) Red: (drunk) Is this real life? Now? (Time lapse. Red's lying on the floor.) Red: (drunk) My eyes are puzzle pieces! (Time lapse. Red seems to be talking to someone.) Red: (drunk) Let's grow old together in every way! ...Except for the gay way! (Camera zooms out, showing that Red is talking to a toilet. He dunks his head in the bowl & flushes.) Blue: It's time to go, dude. You're making out with that toilet pretty hard. (Red pulls out his head from the toilet.) Red: Your mom's making out with that post! YEAH! H-hey...you leave her outta this! Red: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh... (his stomach becomes wavy) Blue: No! Nooooooooooo!! (Video slows down, deepening everybody's voice.) Red: Urrruuuuugh! Blue: Noooooooooooooo! Red: IT'S MY TIME! Blue: Are you kidding me?! Red: YEeEE-''(Video speed's back to normal. Red begins to vomits on Blue.)'' Blue: NOOOO- oooohhhhh...... THAT'S WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE WHEN YOU PUKE?! Red: I DON'T KNOW! (Continues to vomit on Blue. Eventually, Blue lies down.) You don't know where I've been- (Red vomits on Blue once more.) Blue: I hate you! (Red laughs.) I hate you sooo mu--! Soundtrack [[TBA|'TBA']] Time cards * Patrick's Imagination (In Patrick's imagination, he swoons the girl.) * Reality (But in reality...) * Montage Category:Episodes Category:Transcripts Category:Episode Transcripts Category:2018